


Maybe, Maybe Not

by kkonpeito



Series: Angst August 2020 [3]
Category: A3! (Video Game)
Genre: 5 Times, 5+1 Things, Angst, Coming of Age, F/M, Light Angst, Not a Love Story, One-Sided Attraction, Reader-Insert, Unrequited Crush
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-03
Updated: 2020-08-03
Packaged: 2021-03-06 07:13:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,896
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25689400
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kkonpeito/pseuds/kkonpeito
Summary: Five times Tenma wanted to tell her “I love you” and one time he finally did.
Relationships: Rurikawa Yuki & Sumeragi Tenma, Sumeragi Tenma/Reader, Takatoo Tasuku/Reader
Series: Angst August 2020 [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1857883
Kudos: 18





	Maybe, Maybe Not

**Author's Note:**

> Not In That Way // Sam Smith
> 
> Prompt: “Don’t worry; it hurts a little less each time.”

Sumeragi Tenma doesn’t have a hard time telling other people what he thinks about them. He would point out their mistakes, call them out for their mediocrity; he isn’t afraid to tell people that he could do better than them in acting or whatever it is as if it’s an impregnable fact.

However, he also gives credit where credit is due. He joined the Mankai Company without too much expectation, but he was surprised by its members’ dedication and hard work. As much as they look so chaotic from an outsider’s perspective, everyone in the Summer Troupe grew on him. He also respects the other troupe leaders, especially Sakuya, whose passion rivals the most skilled actor out there.

But out of everyone in the company, the person he held in high regard the most was the new Mankai Company Director. She’s too crazy, he believes, that she almost singlehandedly manage this almost torn down theater company and return it to its former glory.

Tenma also believes he’s crazy; after working with her for quite a while, he saw her in a different light every day and it only grows brighter as time passes. 

I.

He passed by the kitchen and saw her cooking her favorite food, another peculiar but surprisingly tasty version of curry. He wasn’t aware that he paused, absently looking at the director.

She was too focused on chopping the ingredients that she didn’t mind the fringes falling on her face. He wants to tuck it behind her ear so it won’t block her features; Tenma thinks she is too pretty to be hidden that way. No matter what expression is shown on her face, the appeal isn’t gone. In fact, the different parts of her shine—her curved lips when she smiles, her scrunched nose when she’s annoyed, her red cheeks when someone teases her, and her bright eyes when she’s concentrating.

He will never admit it out loud, but she makes him feel better.

The young actor couldn’t really pinpoint when he exactly felt this strange but good feeling whenever she’s around; it’s almost like he woke up one day and suddenly, _maybe_ , he loves her. 

Tenma does not really know what love is. The movies portray love as this intense feeling a person gets when a certain individual is around or when they’re not. It’s when they see someone and they feel a connection with them; they have the urge to keep them in their arms and stay happy with them for as long as they can.

But he hasn’t felt that way towards another person, nor does he go out of his way to find someone to date, like what Kazunari and Taichi are doing from the get-go. Of course, he had his massive number of fans and admirers who would kill to go out with him, but they never really came to mind. He’s just too focused on his career as an actor.

It was until the director came into the picture; he wants to tell her and let it all out.

“Tenma, I didn’t see you there.” She grinned at him, interrupting him from his musing. “Do you need anything?”

“No, I… I was just passing by.” At that moment, he just wants to exit and leave. Sumeragi Tenma does not doubt what he wants to say, and he just did, in front of her no less.

But instead of walking away, he stayed.

“Director [y/n].” He placed his hand on her shoulder, not knowing why he did that.

“What is it?”

“I… can help you out for today’s dinner.” He mentally punched himself. That isn’t how it’s supposed to be, and it was too unnatural for him to say that.

“Oh, that’s a first.” The surprise was evident on her face, she knows Tenma doesn’t go anywhere near the kitchen or help out anyone who’s in there. “But thank you.”

When she smiled, that unusual feeling multiplied. Nevertheless, he didn’t show it; he still wants to be the confident Sumeragi Tenma when he’s in front of her, not some love-struck boy like Masumi.

“Consider this as a one-time offer.” He smirked, rolling his sleeves up to his elbows. “Now, what should I do here?”

 _Maybe next time_ , the thought. Today’s probably not the right time. But when he finds the perfect opportunity, he’s going to tell her.

II.

“That’s what you get for overworking, you hack,” Yuki scolded him as he wrings the washcloth from a basin with cold water before placing it on Tenma’s forehead.

Tenma was on his bed, flushed and breathing heavily while buried in multiple layers of blankets. The whole Summer Troupe was there; Kazunari was sitting beside their sick leader, Misumi bought his plate of freshly made triangle _onigiri_ , and Muku was assisting Yuki in nursing their sick member.

The orange-haired actor collapsed while practicing for their next stage. Tenma has been consistently feeling under the weather for these past few days for juggling too many things all at once—he was filming for a movie, practicing with the Summer Troupe, and going to school.

He hasn’t rested for quite a while, but he still went on with the practice thinking it’ll pass. He shouldn’t waste time, especially when he wants this next stage to be perfect, and perfection is not achievable when you just sleep. Everything was going well at first but the next moment, he was on the floor with a temperature higher than normal.

“Now, now, Yukki, let’s not be too harsh on Tenten,” Kazunari replied to Tenma’s roommate while adjusting the blankets.

“Yeah whatever, Friendly McExtrovert.” Yuki’s tongue was sharper than usual. “I knew this was going to happen. I told Useless over here to rest, but he just let it pass from ear to ear.”

“I’m back.” The director finally arrived after buying over-the-counter medicine from the pharmacy. “I ran as quickly as possible.”

“Thank you so much for looking over him.” She went near him and felt his hand which was too warm for comfort. "You can continue with your practice, Yuzo- _san_ will be here soon.”

“But what about Tenma?” Muku eyed worriedly at the boy lying on the bed.

“I can take over from here.” She smiled at the members. “Once he can finally sleep, I’ll catch up to you guys.” 

“Now out of the room, everybody,” Yuki ushered all of them to go out before looking at their director for one last time. “Please call us if you need help.”

“I will. Thank you, Yuki,” she reassured the company’s costume designer once again, and he closed the room’s door in reply.

“Director [y/n]—” Tenma groggily uttered before coughing.

She took the medicine and a glass of water with her and climbed on his top bunk; she settled herself just right above the ladder, taking his personal space into consideration.

“Here, drink this.” She offered them to him after he settled himself on a sitting position despite the struggle in doing so. After taking the medicine, she took the empty glass from him before gently coaxing him back on his bed.

She went down from his bunk bed for a brief moment and went back up with another cold washcloth to replace the one Yuki previously placed on his still warm forehead.

Tenma was looking at her through his heavy eyelids as she tucks him in his blankets. He couldn’t mistake the concern and sadness in her eyes, and he decides he doesn’t like her looking that way. He prefers to see her smiling and happy, and it’s his fault she doesn’t feel that way today.

“Don’t look so sad.” His voice was soft but raspy.

“Then please take care of yourself next time.” She smiled at him, but not masking her worry.

He honestly doesn’t understand why she’s acting that way. Although he is one of the better actors in the company, he’s just a troupe member; no director looks at their actor with the amount of kindness and care she has for him and everyone in the Mankai Company.

He may be delirious from fever, but he realizes he loves her more than before and he badly wants to tell her.

He felt like he was about to doze off. But before that, he grabbed her wrist, stopping her from going out of his bed.

“Do you need something?” she asked softly.

“I… I-” the only thing he said before closing his eyes. He was too tired today, but as soon as he’s well, he’s going to tell her.

He finally drifts off to sleep.

III.

Tenma arrived at the practice hall earlier than expected. None from the Summer Troupe members are there and the Winter Troupe are still rehearsing for their new production.

He leaned against the practice hall doorframe, observing them. He hasn’t really watched the Winter Troupe practice before, but he knows they’re quite talented. They’re the contrast of Tenma’s troupe—the Summer Troupe specializes in lighthearted, slapstick comedy, whereas the Winter Troupe specializes in subtle, serious drama.

It suits them very well, Tenma noted. They’re the most mature troupe as all of its members are over the age of 20. They carry an air of elegance and the experience most of the actors in the whole company has not encountered yet.

There was one particular member in the Winter Troupe that really caught his eye. Takato Tasuku was one of the actors who already had acting experience before joining the Mankai Company. Tenma knew he was a top actor when he was still a member of GOD troupe, the best theater company in the Veludo way, and that says a lot about the stoic man’s acting skills. Because of his long experience on stage, Tenma acknowledges Takato as his rival.

But he isn’t the reason why he went there earlier on purpose. The younger actor’s eyes found the director sitting at the floor, observing the Winter Troupe as they practice their lines.

He always liked her serious and straightforward approach when it comes to theater. She’s close friends with everyone, but she also draws the line when they were in business mode. One of the reasons this supposedly shabby company is still up and running is her go-getter attitude that keeps them moving forward—another beautiful trait that makes him fall for her even more.

Today was the day he’s finally going to tell her, or at least he hopes it to be. He knows this day isn’t really that special, but it doesn’t really matter for him as long as he can get it out from his system. But he wouldn’t lie and say he won’t expect any response from her, a positive one more so.

“We’ll stop here for now.” She clapped twice, grabbing everyone’s attention. “Let’s continue tomorrow. Don’t forget to stretch first before going to rest.”

He still kept his eyes glued to their director, still sitting at her spot until he noticed someone was approaching her.

“ _Otsukaresama.”_ It was Takato, smiling at her as he offered a hand to help her stand up.

“Thank you _,_ Tasuku.” She took his hand and smiled back in return. “You’ve worked hard as usual.”

“I’m just doing my job.” The taller actor awkwardly scratched his nape.

 _Tch._ Tenma couldn’t name what he was feeling while watching both of them interact with each other. It was like a wave of anger, envy, and, sadness surging inside him. It bothered him a lot, especially when she looks at Takato as if all the happiness is found inside his eyes. _I want her to look at me in that way, too,_ Tenma thought to himself _._

All the subtle touches they share and the words they chose while speaking to each other almost felt like they have some magic in them that’s specifically made for one another. He doesn’t know or understand what is it about, but he doesn’t like it already.

“Whatcha lookin’ at, Tenma?” Misumi’s stretched out and airy voice surprised him, the oddball’s arm was around his shoulder.

“Aren’t you too early today?” Yuki, along with Kazunari and Muku, arrived at the practice hall together.

“Not really,” he lied, no one really knows what he’s been feeling for their director and he wants it to remain that way.

As the Winter Troupe members were going out of the practice hall, the younger Summer Troupe members thank them for their hard work. Tenma, however, has been eyeing a particular actor.

He can’t tell her now, he decides. He needs to prepare something special for her at least. He couldn’t afford to lose, not when the top actor Takato Tasuku is his rival.

IV.

“I'd stop that if I were you.”

Tenma was on his bed, scrolling through his phone and looking at some random gift ideas that may suit his and the director’s taste when he heard his roommate. Yuki was sewing their costumes, but he ignored him; probably the green-haired actor was just talking to himself, although he doesn’t really do that.

“You think you love her, but you don’t.” 

Yuki elaborated, voice louder than before, making it clear that he was talking to him. Tenma propped on his elbows and looked at the crossdresser, the latter was still stitching an outfit’s sleeves.

“What do you mean?” He feigned his cluelessness. But Tenma was really confused; he was sure no one knows.

“Don't play dumb with me. You've been acting weird recently when you're with Director [y/n].” Yuki sighed but still continued pulling the threads. “You’re giving Psycho Stalker a run for his money.”

Tenma inwardly scoffed; he wouldn’t compare himself to the likes of Masumi, that guy was just plain nuts when it comes to their director. What he feels for her was above anyone else’s, and he had always wanted to tell her that all this time.

“What do you even know about love anyway?” He haughtily eyed at his roommate once again. He almost wanted to laugh out loud; Yuki, out of all people, is giving him a word about love? If he didn’t know any better, Tenma would say he’s dreaming.

“I don't know anything.” Yuki paused from his sewing and looked at him straight in the eye. “And neither do you.”

“All I know is that you're just projecting the things that you like through her. You’re deluding yourself,” Yuki added as he returned his focus back on his work. The costume specialist started cutting the excess threads from the newly sewn costume. “And even if you did love her, there are too many reasons why it wouldn't work.”

“Oh?” Tenma raised his eyebrow at Yuki. “Care to give me the list?”

“How about you find that out yourself?” Yuki blankly looked at him in return while hiding the mischievous glint in his eyes.

The designer finally stood, carrying all the costumes he recently finished. “I’m done talking to you for the day, Hack. I’m going to take this to the Autumn Troupe.”

Tenma didn’t reply, and Yuki didn’t need a response as he already went out and shut the door close.

Instead of scrolling back on his phone again, Tenma just stared at the ceiling. He thought about their director, and he didn’t miss the sudden change of pace of his heartbeat. Yuki was wrong, Tenma loves her—he loves it when she compliments him, he loves it when he gives her encouragements, he loves it when she looks at him with proud eyes, he loves it how she makes him happy.

Tenma also had a clue why it seemed like it wouldn’t work. For one, there’s a pretty sizeable age gap between them; he’s still in high school and she’s in her early 20s, already working. She acts like a sister to the actors younger than her, and that includes him.

But their age doesn’t really matter to him. After all, they're a lot of movies and stories out there with the female leads older than the male leads and that didn’t stop them from loving one another anyway.

She just has to wait for him, but he has to tell her first.

V.

“I still can’t believe Tax and Director [y/n] _-chan_ are dating.” Kazunari’s boisterous voice stopped Tenma on his tracks. He was about to go to her room and give her the sunflowers on his hand right now. While he was looking for a new bonsai to take care of, he happened to pass by a flower shop and decides he should also get something.

He can move on and make his way, but instead, he hid behind a wall and proceeded to listen to the boys who were hanging out at the common room.

“I can’t believe it either,” Takato sheepishly commented. “But I’m still glad.”

“Taachan really overcame his emotional clumsiness and asked her out,” Tsumugi complimented his childhood friend.

“Man, I wish I’m like you, Takato- _san_ ,” Taichi acknowledged the athletic actor.

“We all know Director [y/n] _-chan_ is attractive, kind, and charming.” Kazunari’s excitement was evident in his voice. “But what do you like about her, Tax?”

There was a short pause before Takato replied.

“She makes me want to become a better person.”

Another short pause filled in the room. Even if Tenma can’t see them, he can hear the sincerity and affection in the way Takato spoke, and he knew it goes way beyond acting. It was too raw and genuine.

“I want to repay her by making her happy.”

Takato spoke out of love and Tenma was sure it was real. 

“Woah, how cool!!” both Kazunari and Taichi hollered at Takato, their admiration for the man doubled.

Couldn’t be bothered to listen further to their conversation; Tenma just left the sunflowers at the dining table and went back to his room, not looking back.

He climbed on his top bunk and plopped on the bed, face falling flat on his pillow. It was strange, he didn’t feel like crying but there was this awful mix of emotion clenching inside his chest. He was stupefied at what he just heard, jealous at Takato, resentful at her, angry at himself, and too confused at his feelings and everything else.

“So you finally found out the director and Musclehead's relationship.” He didn’t notice Yuki when he entered their room, but the novice actor made his presence known.

Tenma didn’t respond, still overwhelmed, and unexpectedly tired from what just happened.

“They just started dating two weeks ago.” Yuki was working on another set of costumes for the Spring Troupe. “But you’re too busy on your own little bubble that you haven’t heard of it.”

He wants to snap back at his roommate, throw in some snarky comment, but he didn’t. For the first time in his life, Sumeragi Tenma felt like giving up.

“You tried too hard in telling her what you feel;” Yuki was less deadpan than usual. “You just ended up hurting yourself.”

“Don’t worry; it hurts a little less each time.” Tenma’s voice was muffled from the pillows.

“Are you having a fever again? You’re being too dramatic.” He could definitely hear Yuki rolling his eyes as he scoffed at him. “I still believe you don’t love her.”

He rolled on his bed, now looking at the ceiling with eyes still dry and void.

Tenma was certain that what he felt for her was love. The fluttering feeling when she’s around and when she’s there for him tells him so.

But he remembers how Takato looked at their director with earnest fondness in his eyes. The Winter Troupe actor has always been there to make her smile, encourage her, and support her even through his awkward ways. The younger actor knew Takato isn’t doing it just because she makes him feel special, nor because she’s the most beautiful person there is—Takato Tasuku really, _truly_ , loves her; that’s all there is to it.

“I hope I believed that from the start, too.”

* * *

I.

Cheers, applause, happiness filled the hall; all eyes on the newlyweds. Five years into their relationship, she and Takato finally decided tied the knot; everyone in the Mankai Company was beyond excited.

Including Tenma, who was smiling and clapping at the couple. He got over it, and it wasn’t that surprising. In retrospect, he didn’t really regret his _crush_ over their director—he found out everyone had that phase when they first joined the theater company, but he just assumed it was more than that and went beyond to what is supposedly normal.

It kind of makes him laugh thinking about his 16-year-old self who knew nothing but pretends and believes he does. Tenma learned from it and will still continue to learn from his different experiences in life, rather than referring to movies.

Everyone from each troupe gets the chance to dance with the bride before the couple’s first dance as husband and wife. It was finally his turn, and he approached their director and offered his hand.

“Would you do me the honor of dancing with you?”

“Of course.” She smiled as she gladly accepted his invitation.

He’s now dancing with the person who nurtured and supported them before becoming the top actors they are now, moving with the slow music. He looked at her; she still looks the same when they first met, but with much more elegance and grace than before. She’s still, _always,_ beautiful.

“You know,” Tenma finally initiated a conversation, voice soft enough that only the two of them can hear. “I always wanted to tell you something before, but I never got the chance.”

“Really? What is it?” She looked at him with interest.

“I actually loved you.” Tenma genuinely smiled at her, not the usual smug grin he has on his face. Her eyes widened, shocked from his sudden confession. “And I still do.”

Before she could reply, he continued, “But only in a different way, of course.”

Tenma is still nowhere near to learning all the things about love, but at least he knows how to love better than before. It’s true that he still loves her; everyone in the Mankai Company became the family he will never trade for anything else in the world.

“If your husband makes you cry, be sure to tell me, okay?” he jests; he knew Takato would be the last person who would do that to her.

“I definitely will.” She chuckled and hit his chest softy before looking at him with the bright and sincere eyes she’s known for. “Thank you, Tenma.”

He only smiled at her in reply, gently letting her go before the next partner invites her to dance.

It was finally the bride and groom’s time to dance. All the attention was on them, silently appreciating the couple together. Even after five years of dating, their relationship just grew stronger each day. Tenma watched them as they dance together. He really owes this couple; they taught him what love really is—one of which are found in each other’s eyes.

Sumeragi Tenma still doesn’t have a hard time telling other people what he thinks about them, even after all these years. But he hopes that someday, he will find the right person that, not only will make him tell but will also make him truly feel the love he’s been wondering about all these years.

**Author's Note:**

> This fic was inspired by the movie "500 Days of Summer". 
> 
> I'm still at Act 1 of A3!, so this fic is set at that time which is why Hyodo Kumon is not yet a part of Summer Troupe. I'm pretty nervous about this fic, especially it's the first A3! fic I've ever written. Nevertheless, I really had fun writing it; it kinda made me go back to high school and relive the experience of having cute crushes lol  
> As always, special thanks to my QC girls, YVD and Gly.
> 
> Translation:  
> Otsukaresama - a greeting that means his/her time and effort are recognized and appreciated (as part of teamwork).


End file.
